Friday, January 23, 2009


yesterday i finished a legwarmer. i had started knitting it a couple weeks ago, and it really felt like it was going to take forever. it turned out cute - gray with light pink and darker sparkly pink polka dots. i've decided that i am tired of changing yarn colors. my next project (which i've already started) involves simply holding two colors together. it's gonna be a cute, extra-soft gray hat for a friend of mine. and it's a welcome break from the polka dots.

this morning i woke up about an hour early - not my favorite thing - but it left me with plenty of snuggle time before i actually had to get a shower. i'm so thankful for my husband and his strong arms that hold me. i feel so comforted, so loved.

on to sparkles - i would normally not do such an outrageously glamorous thing, but i bought a pair of silver ballet flats. and not just silver, but sequined silver. they were $3. how could i resist? they go great with the gray dress pants i'm wearing, and they make my otherwise conservative, classic outfit look special. and not special in a negative way - a very positive, life-filled way.

i have a friend from college who is very blessed. she enjoys an extremely close relationship with God, and often has visions. i'm amazed at the depth of her insights, and at the way that she is so willing to hear and see the spiritual things. her friendship makes me want to know Jesus more, and to know Him in such a real, personal way. lately i've been feeling just comfortable, and i want a change to know that He's still there, that i'm where i need to be. i want a clear purpose, and to have a joy and strength that gets me through each moment. and not just to get through, but to really make a difference in other people's lives. i want to be filled with passion for the truth, i want to enjoy my work, and i want to know for sure that this is the direction i am to take. i want my dreams to make sense; i want to know His will.

am i really supposed to sit here making nearly minimum wage? is this my ministry? will i ever teach public school again? i'm feeling disillusioned. is there going to be grad school for me? and should i even consider it again - or just follow the dream of being a mother - the one thing i've wanted for my whole life? or have i?

Lord, you are my peace. You've established the work of my hands. You provide for all of my needs. And I must be grateful.

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