Goodness and grace

More times than I can count, Brad and I have come to the end of our ability and the bottom of our savings and have found blessings instead.

Each other.

A home.

Food on the table.

Our loving family and friends.

Our church.

The clothing on our backs.

And so much more.


This time, we also found freedom from our medical debts and a large financial gift from our church family, who knew how hard it had become for us to make ends meet.

I hesitated to write about this, because I felt a little guilty enjoying these undeserved, unearned blessings! This post reminded me that God delights in giving good gifts to His children, and that it's alright, it's encouraged, that we enjoy them!

So with a thankful, beyond grateful, joyful heart, I ask you to celebrate with me, friends!

One of our small group leaders approached us a couple weeks ago with a financial gift from our church. A large gift. Because they knew how hard it was for us to make ends meet lately. The size that will allow us to replace the broken windshield on our car, put food on our table, buy a few gifts for our family, fill an Operation Christmas Child box, and put something in our savings account. We are so grateful and floored with the generosity of our church family to us.

I recently humbled myself and applied for charity care for our medical bills. Paying pennies on thousands owed each month was squeezing our already tight budget, and I found myself deciding between a $2 box of cereal and a box of Kleenex. Deciding whether or not to buy cheese, or a bag of apples. Telling myself that I could make sandwich bread instead of buying a $1.50 loaf. Feeding our child from our plates instead of buying pureed and pouch-packaged baby food. Cutting every corner I thriftily could.

And then, all four of our medical bills were either reduced or forgiven, and we were able to pay the remaining balance this month.

Hallelujah!

So, we bought some meat for our freezer. Fresh veggies and fruits for the fridge. Sandwich bread and Kleenex. (Because the baby has a cold, and the hubby needs sandwiches when he packs his lunch for work). We feel abundantly blessed, and look forward to this new freedom to bless others. And to save! And to share our joy with you.

a mini celebration of spring

We've had our first warm Western New York spring day! And I do really mean warm - it was in the 60's and sunny, which is cause for celebration.

What is this warm weather you speak of? All I know is snow!

So, I just couldn't resist dressing the little guy in something cute and summery, and was so excited that this cute little outfit that I made fits him already!

I could get used to warm weather...

Isn't he adorable? Wearing Daddy's shirts already. :o)

Amazed and grateful...

...for the romantic weekend I had with my husband!

Since he works in a different city during the week, we only get to be together on weekends. This is really difficult, of course, but certainly not as bad as it could be (say, if he was in the military and deployed for long periods of time). I miss him so much! I miss him being a part of normal daily life, sharing all the little things that make up our days. I miss cooking for someone other than myself. I miss the way he makes me laugh and the positive perspective he has on life. I miss spending evenings curled up on the couch with him, and the feeling of security I have when he's home at night. I also miss the friendship and company and closeness of having him here with me! Sigh.

When he came home this Friday, I had to be at a rehearsal for choir. We always start the semester off with a weekend retreat for some added rehearsals to get things off to a good start, and this happened to be that weekend. Don't get me wrong; I love choir and don't mind rehearsal, but...it also happened to be the first day I would get to see my husband since January 1st! He was at a conference last weekend.

Friday morning, I had an unexpected snow day, and was able to do some schoolwork from home. Hubby and I texted all day (unusual, since his job is rather busy), so excited that we would finally be together that evening. I curled my hair, wore a pretty dress, and went to rehearsal.

When he picked me up from rehearsal on Friday night, he had gotten dressed up for me, too! We drove home, unloaded his Jeep, and then he asked me to wait as he got one last load of things out of the car...

...and in he came with an armful of red roses! So sweet! As I opened the bouquet, he explained that there were only 11 roses, because he wanted to scatter the petals of the 12th rose all over our bedroom - his own idea. Emotional me was about to burst into overjoyed giggles or tears by this point. He set up the computer to stream some romantic instrumental music, while I set a candlelit dinner, using some special vintage linens, the gorgeous roses, my two Orrefors raspberry votives, my silver-colored candlesticks, and my small Basilica pillar candle on a matching pedestal. Hubby insisted that we sit at opposite ends of the table so we could see each other and enhance the romance of the moment. Okay by me!

I am amazed that God gave me such a wonderful, loving husband, and I am so grateful to belong to him!

waiting in hope

Waiting in hope means waiting without seeing the result. Not yet. It means doing all the normal stuff, but being always ready for the Something Hoped For. It's longing for the day to come, but knowing that today is not yet that day. It means celebrating the glimpses of glory without relying on those light-filled experiences. It means trust, obedience, patience.

And contentment! 1 Timothy 6:6 says that "godliness with contentment is great gain." It's just a verse earlier that the writer says that godliness leads to blessing, but not necessarily financial blessing.

Right now, we're in a place where we have to watch each penny so that we have enough. There's just a little extra, and that's going in savings. We have school loans to pay, and it seems futile to pay rent x2. It's disappointing that grocery trips are $20 more expensive this year than last year - economy woes. It's hard to pay so much for gas.

But the money is not what matters - it's how we're living and loving and making time for each other. It's about the little moments of pure joy and blessing, about long hugs and sunshine through the window, gently falling snow, bluebirds, cuddly cats, and sharing music together. It's about remembering that God has blessed and is blessing us richly. That our character is being formed. That we're growing. And waiting in hope that one day, all will finally be as it should be. That all will be peace, light, joy, awe, wonder.

We wait, in Hope. He Himself is our peace.

We'll make it through this time, and we'll find that we are more refined, strengthened, made more closely into what we should be.

We wait in hope.

thanks to God for everything

everything.
for rain when it's needed, and when I can't understand why. For unemployment and for work. For relational stress and the much sweeter resolution.

Why would I thank God for trouble? It's a commandment, for one. Is it easy? No. But it's an affirmation that God is in control of my life, and that He sees infinite universes, times, outcomes - and that He will ultimately bring these things together for good.

Not that it's not hard, or that I feel happy all the time. Not that I like being materially poor. Not that I can go into the grocery store without wishing that I could buy organic or "extras" like crackers, cookies, ice cream, mangoes, avacados, my husband's favorite soda. Not that I don't feel jealous when friends and family members buy their first homes, have adorable babies, remodel beautifully, and haven't ever been to a secondhand clothing store.

But I'm choosing to allow my tears to fall down, and thanking God for the many ways He holds my life together. Perhaps part of the plan will be revealed to me, but even if it isn't, I'll still trust. I'll still rejoice in the little things.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

little things

It's the littlest things that give me the most pleasure:

hugs from my husband
surprise phone calls from friends
encouraging words from my mom
forget-me-not flowers
chocolate cupcakes - even without frosting
Oscar-cat weaving himself around my ankles
simple dinners at home with my hubby
bargains at my favorite stores
flip flops
great finds at thrift shops
swap-meets! got new-to-me shoes today.
knitting and crafting of most kinds
new journals, crisp pages, smooth writing pens
playing piano as long as I want to
singing a new song and doing well on the first try
conducting and realizing that the choir is singing every move I show them
enjoying the contrast of blue sky and new leaf green
sunshine.
warm enough air to wear cute tank tops
no homework
free time
enough sleep on pretty floral pillowcases

surprised by joy

here's my little garden! i'm so happy to have a space to grow pretty flowers.
i made the stone garden myself - found the rocks, dug up the dirt, and put the bulbs in the dirt.
God makes it grow.
:o)

"Surprised by Joy" is the title of the book I'm reading by C.S. Lewis. Happily enough, the random "religious places" picture on my igoogle page yesterday was of his home and the schools where he taught. I love reading his work, and it's nice to have something to visualize as i read.

today has been full of little tasks - the kind that become annoying when there are so many of them. this kind of work frustrates me because it takes so little time to complete, it doesn't amount to much, and it eats up time that could be otherwise spent. not that i would like my work to cease, just that it would be nice to have bigger, longer tasks. still hoping for that music job. we'll see!

this is the prettiest yellow tulip in my tiny garden. random notes, i know.

mmm...the apple tarts i made in a cupcake tin. they turned out so tasty!