real-life miracle.

"Everyone needs compassion,
A love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Savior,
The Hope of Nations."
"Mighty to Save" by Ben Fielding and Reuben Morgan

Sometimes - no, all the time - I don't like to admit that I'm the one who needs compassion, mercy, a hand up, someone's help, relief, a miracle. I like to think that I'm okay, that I am the one who can bless others, that somehow God will let me rely on my own skills instead of on Him and on the friends He's given me.

When people think of miracles, they think of healing, or water to wine, or other impossible things like that. They think of premature babies thriving, babies being born at all, and older people living longer. "Miracle" is applied to advancements in science, to pleasant coincidences, to happy thrift-store finds and open parking spaces.

But a miracle is a supernatural act of God. Sometimes God works through people, like the incredibly generous, tender-hearted person (or people) who allowed God to use them to bless us today.

We've been struggling to make ends meet financially, and we're planning to take a student loan to be able to pay for my schooling (read: more school loan debt, when we're already paying back $XX,XXX). It has been very hard for me to admit that I can't pay for things like the books I need for class or the professional conference that I really should attend. It has be so hard to not buy more than the absolutely essential groceries and to not make more trips than necessary. We've turned down the heat, used as few cell minutes as possible, and paid only the bills that loomed directly ahead. It has been hard to admit that I need help - that when I got to the counter at the store last week, the clerk paid for part of my bill with the "take a penny, leave a penny" dish. I almost cried then.

God had a blessing in mind, though!

The envelope had no return address on it, and it's postmarked at a city near us. To the friend (or friends?) who sent it: We've been truly blessed through you. Thank you. Your generosity is amazing - I'm in tears as I write this. I'm so thankful to God for a friend like you. Thank you for being the way that God meets our needs. We're amazed at His provision for us, and so very grateful.

"My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who walks beside,
Who floods my weaknesses with strength,
And causes fears to fly.

Whose every promise is enough
For every step I take,
Sustaining me with arms of love
And crowning me with grace."
"My Heart is Filled" by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

some ideas.

Today I went to visit the dean of the school to talk about our financial situation. He doesn't have any extra scholarship money to give me, but he did give some suggestions:

1. I can accompany to earn extra money. Not much, but something.
2. My husband could post signs around town to see if he can find someone to carpool with, thus saving gas money.
3. I could advertise everywhere for teaching piano lessons. I love teaching piano lessons.
4. Have my husband put in a resume at SUNY Geneseo. Who knows? Maybe they need a new saxophone teacher.

I feel a little better knowing that the dean understands my situation. I also called the financial services office to let them know that I have every intention of paying my bill, but can't right this second.

Breathing, and trying to focus on the glimmer of hope.

In other news, I took a couple neat photos the other day when it was so warm (40 degrees, wow!)

a new member of our household

Introducing: Oscar the Cat.

he's a five-pound ball of soft tabby fur, cuddly as can be, and hardly ever stops purring. my husband surprised me with him just a couple weeks ago! it has been fun to have "someone" at home with me while Brad is off at school and work all day.


it has been a long summer without having a job on the horizon. admittedly, i did have five good interviews, the most recent being last friday. however, none of them have turned out to be a job for me. it's disappointing, not to mention trying. i know many many people in our country have been jobless for much longer than me. i feel your pain. it's hard to admit that i'm on unemployment, that i'm going to try to get food stamps. it's hard to realize that this week, there's only $XXX in your bank account, and that rent is due next week. it's not enough.

nevertheless, i know that God will continue to provide for us. my husband has a part-time job in addition to his grad studies. that's pulling some in for us. i have a possibility of being the part-time worship music coordinator for our church, and that would be helpful, too.

we will see.

and on a completely different note, i made a glove. it's a fair first-attempt, i think. check it out! i used self-striping sock yarn...a fun choice, i think! the "trim" at the wrist is a k2tog, yo repetition.

girls' night

last night was really nice - a bunch of the girls and i all got together and had a girls' night in. it involved making really tasty salads, enjoying nutella and truffles, and just being girly together. i haven't had fun like this since college, and it was great to enjoy their company!

coming home, though, made me even more thankful for my husband. he is everything i could have asked for, and so much more than i deserve. so in love.

today i'm thankful for the beauty of the blue sky and sun - so lovely.

my husband's car broke down and is irreparable. today we just bought a new-to-us used car from a man at church who fixes up old cars and resells them at a crazy-low price. we're so blessed to be able to even get another car - and we're thankful. even though it means half our savings are gone.

we'll make it through - God takes care of us, and provides for all our needs.

beauty and pain

these red beauties are mine! my husband gave them to me to celebrate our 1/2 year wedding anniversary...he's so sweet to me.

this would be an example of me having fun with a camera. i also discovered that i hate kodak easyshare cameras - it's incredibly difficult to get a good, clear macro with realistic color.

today i have the worst headache i've had in a long time. it was one of those that you wake up with, that's just a dull ache for a while. after lunch, it got so much worse! i took extra meds, took a nap, and i feel a bit better now. i'm hoping it's gone for when we head out to dinner tonight.

the roses my husband gave me for our 6-months-of-married-bliss celebration are still gorgeous, but have just a hint of dark red around the edges. i know it won't be long before they're past, but i like them! i'm enjoying that little bit of beauty in my home. my husband loves me, and i'm so very grateful. he just kissed me...so sweet.

most of our friends should be back in town tonight, since the semester starts up again on tuesday. i'm excited to reconnect! it should be good.

i've agreed to plan and lead the music for our church's womens' retreat in mid-february. it should be pretty low-key (haha), just me and a friend of mine who plays the guitar. i think i even have the retreat cost covered, which is a mini-miracle, since we have very limited funds right now. it's pretty stressful.

the hubby's car broke down a few weeks ago, and my father in law (mechanic with pretty sweet skills for fixing stuff) took it to see if he could figure out the issue. bottom line is apparently that the car can't be fixed for less than it's worth, and we're turning in the plates. we need another car really fast... my husband's school schedule and my work schedule don't really mesh so well this semester. we're not sure what we're going to do, but somehow, i know God will help us through.

we're here for a reason. we have to be. there's no other way.

and i know it's for our good.

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." ~1 corinthians 15:57