Whew.Things were frustrating when we first got here, and my perception of the rest of my life was colored by that. I don't think I began to have a positive attitude about this semester until about halfway through October. Shameful - I wish I hadn't reacted like that. Do you ever wish you could go back and just change?
I have had a good semester, full of great opportunities that I might not have encountered. My husband did finally find a job, though it's 450 miles a week and really demanding hours. We do get to see each other on weekends. I've lost a lot of sleep - he's endured a lot of boredom. I feel like we've skipped over these past four months, like they didn't really happen.
But, oh, does the bank account say otherwise. We are barely hanging on, and I know that it's only God's provision that's allowing us to stay in the black. We have some huge bills looming over our heads, but we still can't pay them. The commute that my husband has is just eating through what he earns. It's so frustrating.
When we do get to see each other, we're both tired and stressed. He needs time to recharge all by himself, and I've been lonely for him all week. Does being a married adult have to look like this?
We did have a wonderful date night just last week. We pulled out some gift cards for the Cheesecake Factory - delicious. It was a brief escape for us, and that was amazing. We walked around the mall and held hands like we were dating. I loved that! We were both so happy and relaxed. I wish sometimes that life had fewer sad, frustrating valleys and more of those happy peaks. I love my husband so very much, and I wish I had more energy to give to him when he comes home so late at night.
Things have slowed down for me as the semester is coming to a close. I have only had to give a few presentations after handing in my papers, and I have one exam on Friday. Not bad! I didn't even have to sing a jury, for which I am so grateful.
I have had time to (gasp!) make cookies and decorate them...
...set up and decorate our tree,
...I've had friends over for dinner, I've finished knitting the Christmas gifts I hoped to make. My presents are wrapped, cookies are in the freezer (don't tell my hubby, or there won't be any left!), and I've actually vacuumed my house. There aren't any dishes in the sink (well, except for tonight's one small pot from dinner), I'm actually going to do a craft tonight, and I've sent Christmas cards. I even shoveled part of the driveway, spent time playing with my cats, and played piano for fun.
God is still good, even in the middle of our frustration. We're going to make it!
No comments:
Post a Comment