not there yet

My husband and I enjoy watching "House Hunters" and DIY home shows on Hulu. We love to talk about the features we like, the colors, furniture, design flaws and successes, and to plan our future together. We even search sometimes for "dream" houses in cities we might move to. We talk about kinds of couches, styles of lamps, and wall colors. We imagine buying a reliable, newer car and settling into our very own place with pretty new appliances, remodeled bathroom and kitchen, and beautiful bedrooms. We imagine lots of light, open spaces, well-maintained landscaping, traditional touches, and updated flair. We imagine not having to live with old faux wood paneling and worn out carpet, outdated appliances, leaky windows, and wobbly outlets.

But we're not there yet. We live in the world where buying apples AND grapes is a treat, where we pay a lot of money to live in a (hardly updated, but) nice place (with plenty of space and a garage - thankfully), and where it's a big deal if we go out on a date once a month. We live in a time where we don't have enough curtains for the windows, we can't pay to slipcover the couch, and we have to try to get the stains out of the carpet, because it's staying. We have mismatched and stand-in furniture, though most of the pieces belong to us. We have a piano, but it's old and broken, and we can't pay to have it tuned right now.

Dreaming can be so bittersweet! My friend, Kristen O., wrote a beautiful post about this very sentiment. In every event, whether it's happy, sad, frustrating, or exhilarating, there's a twinge of sorrow with the joy (or vice versa).

We're happy together, and we have so many blessings! We're blessed with each other. We have one car that works, electricity that has been paid for, running water, internet, enough food, and phones. We have electronics, books, a laundry facility, and a warm, comfortable bed. We have nice furniture, beautiful dishes, and pretty decorations. We have good friends, loyal family, and neighbors. We have AAA to rescue us when we get stuck in our own driveway (this morning's excitement). We have a God who heals, rescues, and restores our lives, and who will not forget His promises. Complete the work you've started, Lord! Make us what you want us to be, and may we be ever grateful and peaceful in your arms. The joy You give is our strength, and we trust in You.