Tuesday, August 23, 2011

here it comes!

Cool night air, blooming goldenrod, turning leaves, and bird migrations...sure signs of autumn. I'm not ready yet! I've enjoyed my summer "freedom" and lack of schedule most days. I'm not feeling ready to give that up. I love the sunny days, laundry on the clothesline, flowers blooming in my garden, lunch dates with friends and movie nights at my house. I love the extra time to decorate, craft, sew, knit, and paint.

However, I do love that I can wear long pants again - I got a couple cute new pairs for the year. Well, new to me. You know how I love thrifting. I cut my hair in anticipation of the new semester. I love the way it feels to have something new, fresh, different about my appearance, even if it's that small. I have a pretty pink planner, and I've written in my new schedule and concert dates. I'm all set for the back-to-school party I'm hosting, and I have meetings scheduled with my advisors for the new year.

I am nervous, though. I didn't study as seriously as I should have, and I'm concerned. I didn't use my time for what really makes a visible difference at school...but I did use my time for relaxing, creating, cooking, cleaning, enjoying my family. What really matters? It's hard to find balance between what's good, needed, immediate, future, necessary, fun, relaxing, work. Have I sold out to what's good, missing out on the time to do what I should? Here I am blogging (and making cookies and earning points on SwagBucks). Is this productive for much beyond my own need to get stuff out on "paper"? Well, the hubby is happy about the cookies, I'm earning free stuff online, and I'm not bugging him with my self-analysis.

Goals for this week, though:

- eat healthier (less cookies)
- sleep schedule change to match the new school year
- exercise each day - spirit and body!
- actually study like I'm supposed to
- print out the scores I need to study, and study them
- try not to worry about finances, trusting that God will provide a job for my hubby
- make a birthday card for my Grandma
- knit some more just for me
- paint something
- make extra of each meal and freeze it for busy evenings to come
- visualize a successful, happy, exciting, organized, peaceful, joyful, friend-ful end to my post-secondary education

And pray. And breathe! And believe that I'm here for God's reasons, even though I don't understand.

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