Saturday, March 6, 2010

tired. happy. and a little nervous.

it has been a beautiful sunny day in the land of Linnea. however, she woke up with very itchy eyes and hasn't been able to wear her contacts. blasted allergies.

worship rehearsal was this morning, and it's nice to not be the leader this time. this is a full month for me - two auditions, leading worship often, a musical at the end of the month, and Easter prep thrown in for good measure. so much to do.

i came home shortly after noon, and couldn't find anything i wanted for lunch in the fridge. call it the American overprivileged attitude, call it the stomach flu i had the past three days - nothing looked good. in fact, i threw out a bunch of stuff that i didn't eat this week because of being sick. is this a bad thing? well, the stuff i threw out was bad. so DH took me out to lunch - i haven't had an Arby's jr. roast beef in ages. it was yummy, of course.

good news - found my sunglasses. this made me smile! i had purchased these sunglasses before we were married so that i could use them on our beachy honeymoon, and they mean a lot to me just for that reason. so glad i found them. besides all that, they're really pretty.

i spent a lot of the afternoon cleaning (read: not moving much at all from the couch beginning tuesday afternoon through wednesday afternoon = messy house and neglected chores), since DH's composition student and her mom were coming over to do some recording this afternoon. i wore myself out. i just don't have the energy that i'm used to just yet.
regardless, my house looks much better than this morning. yay.

it didn't feel like a saturday. can i have another one, please?

i'm working on preparing for my grad school auditions (aforementioned), and i had a fabulous voice lesson yesterday to check up on the work i've been doing. the teacher was so encouraging and helpful! i would enjoy studying with her. i wonder if God will have us stay here, or if His plans will lead us somewhere else. i'm trying to listen and to be open to where He would have us be. it's not easy. But the voice lesson was great! i have some good pointers to help me to put the finishing touches on my audition music before this coming friday. thanks are due to a good friend who's in the grad program here and recommended that i study with this teacher.

as to the conducting portion of auditions, i have a beefy Bach piece to delve into some more. it's one of those beautiful German double-choir motets with long melismatic passages between the voice parts. so lovely. but so full of stuff to understand, interpret, and teach. this would not be so bad if i had been the director, choosing music back in june, studying it all summer, and presenting it to a choir in september. as it stands, i received the music just a month ago. i've done a herford analysis, which is helpful, but i still can't get the tune solidly ingrained in my skull. oh, to have choir every day! i miss that about my undergraduate work. and about teaching. to sing every have (or make) real time for singing every day.

all this to say: i'm a little nervous. i'm not sure that i'll be showing my best self, considering the way that i've been stretched, overexterted, and pressed for time. it's wickedly difficult to hold five jobs (teaching piano, accompanying class voice, nannying, church music administration, accompanying the high school musical) and to still care for my husband and home. and kitty cat. how do working moms do this? hire out? i haven't been able to put much time in. this blog thing isn't helping, except to relax me before i dive back into Bach's blackness. (love that alliteration.)

sweet note - Green&Black's organic chocolate is amazing.

i love the sparkling snow and how it dusts the pine tree out my window. God is good.
i love when my husband's smile is so sincere that he gets little dimples in his cheeks - when he's looking at me.

and i really do have more than i need. so many blessings. and so much need for God's strength, courage, and direction in my life. don't we all?

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